Wife: "Honey, can you please help me clean the garden?" 

Husband: "Do I look like a gardener?" Wife: "Ok, can you fix the bathroom door then?" Husband: 

"Do I look like a carpenter?" He left and when he returned a few hours later, he noticed that the garden had been cleaned, and the bathroom door was repaired.

 "I knew you could do it," he said to his wife. "I didn't do it," she replied "Who did it?" he asked. "John our neighbor, " she replied. "How much did you pay him?" he asked. 

"No money, he wanted bread or sex," "I hope you gave him bread, " he said. She replied, "Do I look like a baker?"

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